Well :I

Eastern vs. western knitting 1

Well, well, I started knitting, unravelled it, knitted again, unravelled it again, and somewhere along the way I became more interested in different knitting styles. I realised that my Mum taught me to knit in the eastern style (in Polish it’s apparently called heretic). I’m also pretty sure that in the past I mixed different styles without really knowing it. This is something I want to study :) For today (or tomorrow, 'cause today my Brain is already shutting down): JackiBean explaining Eastern vs. Western Knitting.

After reading what's going on in Minneapolis

I can't help but feel that ICE officers aren't mentally very different from Russian soldiers killing Ukrainians; similarly, the Orange Man's supporters and Putin supporters ... I wouldn’t know where to look for differences when comparing only their states of mind and sense of entitlement. A miscarriage of justice seems almost identical to what happens in Russia. I'm sure there are many decent folk there who try to do better than the government, but still ... what a disillusionment with a country of so-called prosperity.

Cats, humans, bullies

Bronek, my parents' cat, is still among the living. He gets a lot of medication, and I suppose he is not entirely aware that his life hangs by a hair. One of his sisters, Frania, has also tested positive :I Our girls, on the other hand, are in the best of health, length and width. We and our neighbours adore them. 

Have already finished reading five books this year, including The Gathering by Anne Enright. An enjoyable read, though it covers some really tough subjects. Currently, I'm in the middle of Ditlevsen's The Copenhagen Trilogy (have finished Youth). 

Can't believe it's already the second half of January; I go to work, spend time with my husband, deal with first-world problems, while occasionally hearing about what's happening on the "western front". The Orange Man's actions in his own country and abroad are heinous, but hey, who knows, they might bring some good for Europe. Just as Ukrainians have started using their own language after the Russian bear attacked them, so I've started looking for European products to support our own economy instead of feeding the bullies with my own money. It's my private politics, not very strict, just something I ponder about while shopping.

Cat's life

The first full week after the holiday season at work exhausted me completely (again?). The weekend seemed too short, I woke up today around half two am worrying about stuff I have no control over. Of course, in daylight everything looked brighter and less messy. It's interesting that in the early morning the rational part of the human brain seems to be asleep. I've read somewhere that it's the cortisol awakening response combined with psychological patterns. Well, people have bigger challenges than that. 

Yesterday evening I called my parents and unfortunately they have serious problems with one of the young cats they adopted last summer. When I say serious, I mean life and death. When I was at my family home a while ago, everything seemed to be ok, but since then Bronek's health has rapidly deteriorated. His blood test results are very bad, he has anaemia, and worse still, his feline leukemia virus antigen test came back positive. He and his sisters are indoor cats, and all the older cats were vaccinated so there is almost no other explanation than a virus brought by their mother. My parents were very distraught by the whole situation, Mum tried to get in touch with better vet clinics to ask for help, and she finally succeeded, but the reality is we don't know whether anyone can really change Bronek's fate, not to mention that a cat's life comes at its high price in zloty. Actually, around 3500 zl ≈ € 830. For now.

Bronek is in a good place, they are giving him blood transfusion (that's how we know his blood type is A), and are doing all the necessary tests to see if there's any hope for him. I'm so sorry for the little fella.

No resolutions

Several days ago I thought it would be a nice thing to write down some New Year's resolutions, but in the end I decided against it. Part of it would feel more like self-presentation than a real plan, so why bother? I don't want to impress anyone here, I just want to distract my mind, train it to use a different language, and look at things from a different perspective. 

I spent ten days in my family home, and had a great time. A great time of doing nothing in particular, which is very important for my mental health, as I'm a slow pacer by nature.

Below are a few of the dozens of pictures I took while staying with my parents: a visit to my favourite local coffee shop, my Christmas wafer with pieces from my parents' wafers, dinner at a Chinese restaurant, Wojtuś the cat showing off his big belly, and a forest road I know so well.

Catching up

The last week before Christmas at work was really tough, not because anything out of the ordinary happened, but because my energy and, in effect, the drive to stay patient was running out. I finished Friday with a very pleasant discovery: we ate out at a place called the Valley Inn. Good name, good food, very Irish. We also went to Dún Dealgan, had coffee in our favourite place and took a stroll along the main street with a quick browse in our favourite independent bookshop (I bought my husband a children's book written by an Irish singer and actor, Gavin Friday). 

Other good things? I bought two balls of yarn (from Norwegian Sandnes Garn) and bamboo circular knitting needles, size 4.00 mm. Also, finally decided to start journalling in one of the notebooks I had acquired a while ago. With a fountain pen :) And I gave my husband his Christmas present early (a nice coat he chose himself, Moncrief, dark No. 14). We also gave our neighbours presents, and received something from them in return.

I'm recovering after the intense weeks watching the old Dalgliesh series with Roy Marsden (I've finished A Taste for Death and have started Devices and Desires). Today will be about packing my suitcase and deciding what to wear for the journey. I'm still a bit wound up, but that will pass for sure.

Promises

One of the potential co-workers had been deceiving me for two months, pretending she wanted to cooperate. She applied for the position, but didn't show up for the first meeting. The same happened with the second meeting – but this time I got an excuse: oh, I’m sorry, but I was unwell. And then nothing, silence for many days.

After a month she suddenly reappeared, explaining that it was "a difficult situation" that had prevented her from taking any action, and that she was so considerate she didn’t want to bother me.

Well, I gave her a chance, and handed her a form that she was supposed to fill in. I should have known from the start – the moment she was leaving the office, she walked in the opposite direction to where she needed to go to get the details for the form.

The next day, of course, something happened at home and she couldn't attend. The day after that, because something had happened at home, she was now sick from having been out in the rain. Another day, another story: she had to go to the doctor, mainly because she's sooo good she wanted to provide me with a sick note. On Monday she was "almost ready" to come over, but the sick note lasted until Tuesday, for sure u understand, but she had already bought a laptop to be more efficient at work …

It was indeed a comedy, the amount of excuses just to avoid doing anything. I haven't heard from her for the last two weeks. I'll be rolling on the floor laughing if she shows up again telling me, once more, that she had a difficult situation, and didn’t want to bother me with it. Aggrrrhrhr: all this I'll do this, I promise, and then I couldn't do it, because the world is such a bad place, and In the past I did plenty, plenty of things (conveniently things no one ever saw, and no one will ask about, maybe a person like me with my "so what’s exactly your work experience?"). Sometimes people are just like this; I have to accept it, have a good laugh and move on.

Spoiled and confused

Oh, that was a surprise. It really didn't feel as though I hadn't written here for so long. November just wasn't my thing this year; I was mostly working and trying to keep warm, and days flew by like in a sort of trance. Of course, Fred and I still managed a few strolls (our last one was yesterday, a pleasant walk around the town). When we got back home Monday evening, in the bedroom I found Santa's sack full of presents: a black jacket (Costume National), a white-and-black checkered kerchief (Fred Perry), and orange mitts (McKernan). I feel utterly spoiled.

Memory's a weird thing

Last Thursday was the third anniversary of my grandma Mary’s passing. I forgot about it, or rather, I’d pushed it out of my mind and didn’t remember until Tuesday.

I'm doing fine ...

... I guess ;) On Monday I was a bit unwell, very tired, my legs were like jelly by the end of the day. But I treated myself with kindness, had dinner made by Fred, and spent most of the evening reading. I did the same yesterday, and around noon I was already feeling better

Generally, last week was very positive (apart from some situations at work, where we had a few bumps in the road due to personality clashes among the students. I wasn’t involved, but it’s still difficult when you’re the one who’s supposed to offer mediation).

On Saturday, Fred and I, we went to the cinema to see a Polish film called A Good Home. It’s about domestic violence; quite a difficult subject, but it’s worth watching, even just for its educational value.

We were also spending a lot of money in coffee shops – Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, today… on Saturday we were out and about in An Inse and found a very interesting place called Sonairte.

Currently, I’m reading a great story: The Outrun by Amy Liptrot. I already know the plot, as back in April we watched the film based on the book, an adaptation starring Saoirse Ronan. The book is even better though, because it focuses more on the main character looking for new interests, hobbies, something to do outside of addiction.

On Monday I booked flight tickets for Christmas. € 341.78. Seriously. Yes, I already checked one or two weather forecasts, they said: White Christmas!

Don't judge a book by its cover, they say

While at work and a bit bored, I came across this cover of Is Mother Dead by Vigdis Hjorth. I'm not sure if it's an official release, or what, but I would buy it again just for it.